Confession

I have a weakness for the low-rent. I can't help myself. Maybe it's because the relentlessly classy is so intimidatingly perfect, while something ramshackle and half-assed fairly screams out for help of some kind.

Case in point: The Dresden Files, a new show on Sci-Fi. None of the sophisticated geo-political commentary that you'll find woven through Battlestar Galactica--or Rome, for that matter. No, every episode is about a guy--an erstwhile wizard--trying to get along in the big city.

Nicolas Cage is listed as one of the producers, which I take to mean that he optioned the idea and brought it to the folks who put up the cash. I also assume he had some input on the casting, since Mr. Dresden is a wolfish guy with a seriously receding hairline. (I had the chance to sit in on a casting session with the great Nina Foch, and she had a remorseless eye for distracting facial flaws. The actor playing Dresden has what she would describe as a "muzzle.")

It's getting to the point where I'm watching Dresden *before* BSG. I don't know why. Nearly every episode has followed Harry Dresden's accidental entanglement with some young lovely, and the consequent need for him to solve a mystery using magic. The guy has a seriously thing for ladies--he seems to fall in love in the first four minutes of every episode. On the plus side, the actor really sells the hell out of his role. Last week found him passionately smelling--yes, smelling--a woman/werewolf. (I think he was going to track her scent? I'm not sure.) Anyway, if they ever give an Emmy for smelling a woman with a straight face, this guy is a shoo-in.

Okay, but here's the problem. The show is set in Chicago. They've got Chicago cop cars and Chicago police uniforms. They have footage of the skyline and shots of the El. They drop street names and nearby towns, and generally try to fake like they really are shooting in Chicago.

The end result is TOTALLY UNCONVINCING.

I am a sucker. I have *seen* the section of Warner Brothers lot where they film exterior scenes for ER and I still try to catch little pieces of actual Chicago on that show. Likewise, I have seen the part of the Fox lot where NYPD Blue used to tape, and I still scrutinize footage from that show, just in case that was one of the days they shot on location.

Hell, I recently edited some ER dailies (for a class) that I know for a FACT was shot on a soundstage in Burbank, and caught myself marvelling at how they'd matched the exact cold grey color of winter sunlight in Chicago.

"The Dresden Files" doesn't fool me for a second. It's OBVIOUSLY being shot in Canada--probably Vancouver, maybe Toronto.

Problem one: The light is ALL WRONG. Everything is lit with a gentle, golden warmth. I'm not a professional cinematographer, but in my experience, Chicago alternates between a cold grey haze (September through March) and an intense solar glare (April through August.)

Problem two: The accents. No way any of these people grew up in the midwest.

Problem three: The cops are super hot. Again, I call bullshit. Actually, that's an all-purpose note, applying to any city this might be set in.

Problem four: An episode just began with the on screen title: "Chicago - Near West District." Huh? You mean the West Side? Or Wicker Park? Last week, Dresden and a client drove to "South Bend" in an open jeep. South Bend, IN is at least two hours of freeway driving. Who makes that drive in an open car?

Problem five: Everytime the show tries harder to convince me it really IS set in Chicago, it only gets less convincing. The way Harry will deliver some voiceover monologue about the "way Chicago is." Or someone will whip out a map that's clearly one of the CTA pamplets that covers just the Loop and Gold Coast.

But see, here's the thing...I find it all the more charming for those flaws. Who can keep up with BSG, with it's constant weaving of WWII battle strategy and Crimean-War-Era military history? I'd much rather watch a show with some dings in the paint.

And the silliness of certain ideas--Harry uses a drumstick for his wizard's wand, a hockey stick for a staff--is very winning. He shares his apartment with the ghost of a dead, gay wizard who periodically goes off to sulk in an old skull--his own.

It reminds me more than a little of "Forever Knight," another Canadian supernatural show, that one about vampires. It was utterly ridiculous (the bad guy was named Lacroix, if that gives you some idea), but very gamely done.

On another note, Oscar Sunday marks the anniversary of our first visit to Los Angeles. Two years ago, we tangled with the blocked off streets and horrific traffic generated by the Big Night, squeezed into the In and Out Burger around Sunset and Highland, then plowed through the 405 to the airport, where we watched the first hour or so while waiting for our plane to board.

A lot has changed since then. I never set tire on the 405 unless absolutely necessary. In fact, I make a point of driving as little as possible, particularly in and around things like Oscar Sunday. Oh! And I've discovered I prefer Fatburger to In and Out.