It's Snot Blogger

Whew. I'm back. I switched to Blogger Beta on 12/3, and, as sometimes happens, the internet ate my blog. It was right here where I left it, but I couldn't get on and post. Wow, angry making. I went through all five stages of grief, and by the time Blogger emailed me to say the problem was fixed, I kinda didn't care anymore.

That was Friday, and now, two days later, I've recovered my raison d'blog: Trippy cold medicine after effects.

Yes, I have a cold. Not too bad, but super drippy. Just my nose goes drip drip drip all the time. Okay when I'm awake and can stop up the drip with a Kleenex, or blow until my eardrums pop. (Thanks for the tip, MG!) But you can't sleep and drip at the same time, so I took some Nyquil before bed last night.

In a piece for, I believe, Harper's Magazine, an author once took a massive dose of Nyquil to explore the effect on his brain. He described the resulting mental state as being reduced to his "lizard brain." Those were his exact words. I believe it. Nyquil has a way of dampening down all the higher mental functions until you're almost too dumb to function.

Four hours into the six hour dose, I woke myself up in a panic. Something is terrible wrong, I thought. Why do I feel so stupid? Maybe I'm having a stroke. No,wait, look: crumpled Kleenex. I must have a cold. Oh, right. I took some Nyquil. That explains it. Okay, let's go back to sleep.

Thirty seconds later, I went through the whole thing again. Over and over, until I finally wore myself out and feel sound asleep. If anything, it was probably the Nyquil wearing off that did it, giving me back enough basic reasoning to remember for two seconds that I had a cold.

But with the passing of the Nyquil, so returned the drip drip drip. Happily, even in my sleep I am something of a problem solver. When I woke up this morning, my right hand was tucked under my nose, holding two-inch prong of Kleenex inside my left nostril. Thomas Edison would have been so proud!