No, No, No, No, No. No.

I've done enough improv to have lost any and all lingering shame over making a fool out of myself in public. (If you can swing it, I recommend this highly. I only wish I'd developed this skill in college--I would have saved a fortune on all the alcohol I consumed to short circuit my over-developed self consciousness.)

But no, I am not ever going to apply for a slot on "The Amazing Race," high humiliation tolerance or no.

1. I cannot drive stick.

2. The first time I was required to move up/down from any point more than 12 feet off the ground, I would start projectile vomiting and not stop until the producers let me out of the task.

3. Michael. Lactose intolerance. A world of dairy and languages we do not speak. 'Nuff said.

4. I cannot drive stick.

5. My non-European geography is realllllly spotty.

6. First day I go more than 4 hours without coffee, I'll walk out.

7. When I'm running late--even for a coffee date--I get so anxious I'm almost nauseous. The idea of EVERY DAY agonizing over whether/how late we're running? Hell. Total hell.